HOLDING A SPACE AND STUFF
What does the expression mean, "I'm holding a space for you"? I mean, does it even make sense, this expression? Have you even heard it before? "I'm having a really bad day. My dog got run over by a car and I am so sad." To which I say, "well, I'm holding a space for you, my friend." Holding a space means : there is nothing I can say or do to bring your dog back, in this doggie dog example, but I hear you... and I feel your pain.
Does that make sense? The space reference throws some of you off, I know. What does space have to do with anything???????? Yashua, you dumb boy!!!!!!!!?????????????
Space, my friends, is a term that I like to use because of the following: "it" is a visual tool. When I say the word "space" it means that I'm giving you "room" to figure out how YOU want to deal with said grievance. It means that "I" am not going to assume "I" know what "you" need in order to plow ahead after this setback. No one likes to be preached to. No one likes to be "told"....... "don't worry, time will heal all wounds and..... by the way...""""blah blah blah and six in one and half a dozen in the other and more blah blah frickin' blah!!!!!""""""
It is not all the same, like a dozen of eggs, guys... It is NOT. SO, if someone says to you something so seemingly innocuous as "I know how you feel". THOSE words could be fightin' words, as they sometimes say. Take it from me.. cuz I know human psychology and I know how people "take" things..... or "NOT!" Less is more, believe me. "my condolences" will suffice. If that is not your "cup of tea" of words to say to a grieving friend or acquaintance, then you might want to check the thesauraus if you can even spell that word.... and look at other options, guys. ok? Fido is not coming back, but you don't have to tell the owner that she can "go get another one". ... " I mean.... it IS just a dog, lady and former friend :-)
I personally like, "that sucks the BIG ONE", however, it might come of a bit more smug (who me???) than actually intended. SO>>>>>>. AS I WAS SAYING, BEFORE I WAS RUDELY INTERRUPTED......!!!!!!......!!!!!!!......AHEM>>>>>>.......AHEM.............AND ALL..
MY SADNESS BECAUSE OF SOME SETBACK, job loss, death, taxes sucking the living bajeezus outta ya......is not your concern, ok? I mean, thanks for the good intentions and all, but I don't actually NEED you to SAY or DO anything....as if any words or helpful hints or book titles... are going to all of a sudden relieve me of my cruddy mindset. I NEED SPACE TO BREATHE!! NO OFFENSE, BUT PLEASE UNDERSTAND: I'll figure it out and get through it somehow, on my own terms, in my own time. Just knowing you're here for me is enough. That's all, guys... that's quite ..... all.........ok? get it??? be cool fool!! :)