... and one more thing before I go...
Updated: Feb 26
What now.... heavy sigh.... Are you saying you want me to go?? Don't you love me anymore?
What? You used to love me... Maybe when you thought I was wearing a cool flaxen robe and wooden sandals that put blisters upon my dogs? Is "that" it???
Are you really that 2 dimensional, people?
I cannot emphasis ENOUGH in any language... ahem, and by the way, people.... do you even care or want to know exactly which language I speak? Do you now??
Maybe I don't even want to tell you now. My feelings are hurt :-(
How do married couples do it, you guys. Are you, yourself, married? So, let me ask YOU...
How in the heck (maybe hell in your case) do you do "it"... this thang called marriage.
M-A-R-R-I-A-G-E .... not an easy task you guys put on yourselves. Did you know that more than half of you all reading my words wish you weren't ? ... married ahem that is... Don't worry, mum's the word and all, but I have to tell you-- get a job, people. Get a real job. Marriage is NOT a real job. Sorry to break it to ya. It is an artificially contrived thingee. It is nothing I would ever recommend to anyone I would call a "friend" FULL STOP as they say. Here me out on this while I change my clothes into something more comfortable. AHEM with a gentle SMILE...
I, YASHUA, do solemnly swear, as YAHWEH is my witness.... and now, YOU too I guess since you're already here (rolling eyes emoji here please). Heavy sigh emoji here please.
I am sick and tired of swearing to tell you the truth, my good peeps!!. Just know this... If you take anything away from this or any other piece from me on this BLOG... take away this please....
I ALWAYS BE REAL, YO. I DO NOT LIE OR CANDY-COAT YOUR REAL REAL. I ALWAYS KEEP IT TRUE TRUE. GOT IT?? GOOD! KEEP IT! GOD, YOU PEOPLE..... REALLY
(eyes rolling again in disgust)
I try to keep the real real light because, hey, just between you and me.... I know how hard life can be. Put the marriage vector on that baby and NOW you're doin' time on the production line my good people. It is not easy to spend countless hours, day after day, week after week, year after year, with the same you-know-who! SHEW! I get tired just saying "that!" You see my feet? How torn and tattered they are? Do you notice the callouses, my good man? Well, then.... Imagine if these feet had been never made to wear those wooden sandals (what, we hadn't invented leather back then?). May I continue mr. parenthesis? Ok, so stick with me here. The english language is full of pauses and grammar and commas-- which is grammar. Can you imagine reading this in German, where the grammar is a sonabitch?? No thank you, english please. Ever read the kids book series, "Cap'n Underpants?" Check it out, people. It funny. it spell like it sound, my peeps. So excuse me if it get a little cray cray here. i am sick and tired of following someone elses grammar and frankly spelling "rules" ok? This scribe got my drift. She ain't no moron, people. grammar be gone!!!
Now that i've layed the groundwork, spellcheck, which is archaic on this model, can take a HIKE! this computer have no cute little emoji mon'. I have to write out my facial expressions. that crazy! Look of disdain :-/
Was I talking about marriage earlier? Does it even matter. You got this thing, people. You got it. Good job. A++. Nice One! What's your secret? Is it your anti-perspirant? Is it your eau de colone? is it you breath mint? Please do tell I am all ears yo
True true be told. I am sick and tired of you married folk always praying to me, cuz I gotta lisen to this crap all the time believe me... nothing personal for you more sensitive types. I do hear y'all cuz I gots to you dig? I aint lyin yo. I hear all the blah blah blah di dah about mr. right did this and now mr. right is being not so mr right cuz he's now shaggin my best friend and now i'm left out in the cold with 2 chitlins' and the family hound without a job and we can't afford no second abode get my drift god? get it?
Yo woman I got you drift. I got it loud and good my good lassie. you and 10 gazillion other lassies out there! I got it so good i start to wonder what the heck is so right about mr right in the first place, woman? you want to set yourself up for failure before you even know who you iz? You see my good lady. there aint no mr right out there that can stay MR RIGHT for more than.... say.... a couple of hours. ok??? after a few days with you my good woman, maybe mr right decide he tired of your nagging ass and want to jump ship. "hello" man cave idea!!! MAN CAVE!!! good idea all you mr rights. good idea!!! high five!!!!!!
SO. did I cover all bases on this marriage dissertation or do you still want more? do you even still like me and want to pray to me to get you out of your sitcom situation? what is it you want from me people? y'all set your own fool selves up when you put yourself into a lose-lose situation in the first place. Ok, back to the "sofisticated" version of ME (all caps, please my dear scribe). What... don't I have hands? Can't I type myself? What's wrong with me.. Am I THAT LAZY?????
Why yes, of course... Because I"M A MAN, PEOPLE... I"M A MAN. DO NOT MARRY ME!!!
Enough said.... just wanted to bring you to the 'oh so cold' realization, a cold shower, if you will, on the simple true true, that commas and marriage, if overused, can totally suck! Both too many commas, too many grammar rules (please check out Capn Underpants people!). MARRIAGE can put the kbasharoony on good intentions! I mean comma here what else should i say question mark here You know it sucks after a while comma even hangin apostrofy out with even your best of friends dash dash how they can get on your last MF nerve just after a couple a days you know question mark thing
bottom line in all caps here people period all caps again colon marriage is a sinking ship and this poseidon adventure is goin down period all caps gap gap i'm outta here space space all caps signing out. all caps because i'm the man yashua all caps in case you forgot new paragraph all caps read on my crewmates cuz yall are goin down on this good ship lollypop exclamation pointaroooo!!! I'M OUTTA HERE YOU LOSERS. I'M SO OUTTA HERE! This was a message from you local moron station, YASHUA got gameTM. NOW, read on peep